On this day 11 years ago....

We said good-by to our precious little boy, Matthew. What I remember about that day, besides the intense sadness and emptiness was that the sun was shining on a beautiful crisp fall day. It was a stark contrast to the day Matthew was born, on August 20th, when the rain poured down in buckets. For some reason the weather of these two day sticks out in my mind. I remember thinking that although I would have given just about anything to keep Matthew with us and that although we were deeply saddened over our loss {more than I can put into words} the stark difference in the two days spoke to me. The rain on the day he was born mirrored my feelings. I remember looking out the window at the hospital and watching the rain fall down the window and and identifying with the cold, dreary, gray day. My heart felt the same - cold, dreary and gray. Although my heart felt most of the same on the day Matthew left us the sunshine spoke to my heart in a different way. It spoke to me of where Matthew had gone - to be in the arms of the Lord and although it didn't completely form in my mind at the time it began to form in my heart and it was the beginning, even on that first day, of the thaw. Even today, 11 years later, the day sneaks up on me and often makes me sad for out loss but the sunshine or maybe just that there was such a difference in the days {rain on a summer day and bright sunshine on a fall day that often brings rain like today} brings a bit of comfort for where Matthew left us for.  We love and miss you Matthew, but our faith tells us you are in a better place.